This week, I had the pleasure of watching Ron “The Hedgehog” Jeremy debate a conservative [1] on MSNBC regarding a new anti-pederasty bill.  Supposedly, the bill intended to create a national registry of porn stars for the purpose of ensuring the legal age of all porn stars, so that nobody could be paid to have sex before they turned 18–like infamous porn star Tracy Lords was.  And yes: suddenly self-righteous Americans were dumb enough to bring the first amendment into the issue, because they actually believe that making porn is speech.

But here’s a novel argument, brought to you by logic.  You may have learned how to do this in eighth grade geometry class.

Prostitution is paying someone to have sex.

Prostitution is illegal.

Filming pornography for commercial distribution is paying someone to have sex.

Therefore, filming pornography for commercial distribution is illegal.

I wonder why it is that certain Americans are fighting “valiantly” for freedom of expression in porn, but almost nobody wants you to [2] legally advertise for a Jewish roommate on Craig’s List.  I also wonder what isn’t speech, if having a paid orgy on camera is.  Does anyone think it’s a little weird, that we have such a double standard with freedom of speech, but only insofar as our own personal dictates allow?  And is this [3] doctrinal subjectivity really liberty at all, or has it made us a nation ruled by men instead of law?  And if we are ruled by men instead of law, is there [4] a sensible, non-violent solution to our problem?

How about this: either we legalize both prostitution and commercial production of pornography (which I do not recommend), or we ban both.  If we’re going to  be at all serious with law and society, we need to start taking some tough stances.  Unless, of course, we really believe eighth grade logic was only for triangles.